my own time whine

Sometimes I don't feel like I have any time that is my own. I know that comes with the whole motherhood territory, but I don't think I was really prepared for just how little time I would have that was my own. I have actually gotten spoiled this week because Scarlett has not taken a morning nap, she has only napped in the afternoon, which puts her & Matthew napping at the same time. I have a clean house, supper ready, and time left over to do what I want. Even if it's just an hour, I have time for me. Pretty sweet. It was obvious by 9 o'clock this morning that Scarlett wasn't going to make it to lunch time without a nap. So I put her down for a morning nap, which means she won't nap again until around 3:30-4:00 this afternoon. Matthew will probably wake up around 4, so I won't really have time to myself. It's bad that over the last 2 days I've allowed myself to enjoy knitting after lunch, and now today I'm sad that I can't knit!

Don't get me wrong, I'm always thrilled to have one on one time with the kids, and actually haven't pushed Scarlett to one nap a day even though so many people tell me how much easier it will be when she & Matthew are on the "same schedule." I love having time with him in the morning & with her in the afternoon. Or I thought I loved it, until this week when I discovered I love knitting after lunch. I think part of it is that last night I got almost finished with my latest project and thought to myself "I'll finish this up easily at naptime tomorrow" but folks that ain't happening! I thought it would be nice to have a finished project and then start another tonight. But now I'll finish one & immediately start another...somehow it just doesn't feel as good to know I have unfinished work.

I also have to add this disclaimer - don't take my complaining about lack of my own time as an indicator of what time I do have. I am lucky to have a husband who doesn't complain a bit when I take much needed me time on the weekends, or even during the week once he's home from work. He doesn't even complain when I tell him I'm going out as soon as he walks in the door. And I know it's important for him to have some time off too. When we first got married I hated it if he beat me home from work because I felt like that was my wind down time, so I try to be considerate of that with him. Everyone needs a chance to wind down, and sometimes I need it at 6:00 other days it can wait until 8:00. But David is wonderful about giving me that.