what a roller coaster

I've always loved roller coasters, when I was in college David & I used to travel the country to ride them. We'd take a long weekend and drive all day/night Friday to get somewhere, go to a park Saturday, drive Saturday night to another city, spend Sunday at a park, and drive all night Sunday night to get back to school/work on Monday. It was fun, and I'm sure there were worse things we could have been doing. What a thrilling ride. Ups & downs, highs & lows, such a rush.

So I figure parenting is a lot like riding a roller coaster, right? You have definite high points, with some low points thrown in for good measure, and a lot of little bumps along the way. This week has been one heck of a ride. Monday night was SO nice, the kiddos ate a good supper without being bribed prodded, then they played in the family room with David while I had clean-up duty. They were quiet, took turns, and all around great. I came in and played for a while before we got them ready for bed. I said to David "I sure wish it was like this all the time."

Then yesterday, oh my gosh, yesterday...neither of them would go down for a nap, after almost 2 hours Scarlett finally went to sleep. Matthew never fell asleep, but he did finally play quietly in his room. I probably made 20 trips up the stairs in that time, trying to get one or the other of them to lay down. I was so frustrated. I hate myself when I get frustrated with them. By the time David got home last night I was exhausted and didn't want to deal with them at all. Suppertime came and Scarlett dumped her plate on the floor. Matthew didn't do much better. After I finished eating I told David I was going to veg for a while, and let him take care of feeding them and bathing them. I just needed a break, and didn't want to wait until they were in bed to have it.

Unfortunately that break didn't help my mood. I was a grouch all night, and being really hard on myself about the kind of mother I am. David assures me I'm a good mom, and most of the time I believe it, but yesterday was not a good day. I was not a good mom. I've got to work on patience. Today has been, oh, better, but naptime for Scarlett was another battle.

Surely the good parts of the coaster will come back soon.