seriously?

Otherwise known as the post where I write about my father-in-law. Um yeah, this weekend he's visiting and I've been full of "seriously?" moments ever since he got here.

Friday he arrived mid-afternoon while the kids were napping and David was at work. While we tried to make small talk before the kids woke up he told me we need to make Matthew tough. He says David was never bullied because he was one of the bigger boys in his class, but that "these days if they aren't the bully they are the bullied." So he wants us to make Matthew a bully. Seriously?

That morning I'd picked up steaks to grill, figuring I'd bake some potatoes and either cook some spinach I had or throw together a salad (still with the spinach). I'm sure I've eaten those bagged salads at his house that included spinach, and he's grilled steak when we've visited him, so I figure that's a pretty safe meal. When David gets home & mentions steak, FIL tells us "well I don't eat much meat. Didn't you know that?" WTF? Then "I guess I'm kind of a vegetarian." (until he visits my house where I don't mind eating animals, and if you don't, well then you need to let me know in advance!) Then David says "well we're having potatoes and spinach too." "I don't like spinach."

I decided to make salad instead of creamed spinach since I had a variety of lettuce too. I put the spinach in one bowl & mixed the lettuce in another. He did eat the lettuce. But again, I know we've had spinach at his house before. And steaks, but who am I to say he's not a "new" vegetarian? ::eyeroll::

Saturday was ok...he & David went to the Woodward Dream Cruise with the kids while I went to the gym, showered, got my hair cut (which is a whole 'nother post), and got a pedicure. Then I went to a friend's wedding. I met her online when we were both pregnant together, we became friends, and have kept in touch since. She happened to be from a nearby town and although she lives in Florida now, she got married here. That was kinda cool. It was also kinda cool that FIL was here to babysit for the wedding/reception, right? He's the only one of our parents who has never watched the kids for us. Not that I mind that and I certainly don't expect them to babysit, but it sure is nice when they offer. So he babysat Saturday night. We've never had a sitter call us when we were out, NEVER. In the middle of dinner, David's phone rings. "Uh-oh" and he slips out. So anyway, his dad called because Matthew was not listening & cooperating getting ready for bed.

OF COURSE MATTHEW WASN'T LISTENING & COOPERATING GETTING READY FOR BED!!! You're NOT his parent & he's going to TEST you! But to call David over that? Really?

Turns out, he called 2 more times while we were at the reception. Seriously?!? This man has 5 children of his own, yet he couldn't get a 3-1/2 year old to bed? And when he couldn't get that child to bed, he didn't have sense enough to put a movie on & just let him fall asleep on the couch? Really? Geeze louise.

Sunday we had tickets for the NASCAR race. We wanted to leave the house by 10, and as we're getting things ready FIL asks what he can do to help. David says "here are Scarlett's shoes & socks, put them on her." Not hard, right? WRONG! I was in the kitchen & I heard:

• FIL: "I can't get them on her. She's not giving me the sock."
  
• David: "what?"
  
• FIL: "she put her sock on her hand and won't give it back."
  
• Me (thinking to self): wtf? she's 2. take it from her.
  
• David: "Well take it from her."
  
• FIL: "I can't."
  
• me (again, thinking to self): Um, you're a man, she's 2, why the hell not?
  
• David: "Just take the sock off her hand. Put it on her foot." (cracks up laughing)

We got to the racetrack & start putting sunscreen on the kids, FIL says he doesn't need any because he already has a tan. (Um yeah, cuz you use bronzer. That's right...I saw it in the bathroom. I know it was his because it wasn't ours. How many 68 year old MEN do you know who use bronzer?) Guess what FIL's first words besides "good morning" were this morning? "I think I got sunburned yesterday." Fucking serves you right. No sympathy here.

He complained yesterday that David walks too fast & he can't keep up with him. I'm a foot shorter than David & don't have a problem keeping up. I know - he's 68 years old, but he also complained about how far they walked Saturday. He told me "we must have walked 20 miles." I understand that people exaggerate to make a point, but David said it was probably 2 miles, and his dad kept insisting it was at least 10. So David mapped it...2.4 miles. Today when I offered him lunch he said he didn't want anything. Then he told me that he doesn't eat much, just a little bit in the mornings & that's it. I told him if he ate more he might be able to keep up with David.

I think he's a vain man who is getting older & afraid he's not attractive anymore. He's trying not to gain weight but instead of doing it in a healthy way he's starving himself. And he uses bronzer. I say this based on a lot more background too, not just these things. I don't have a problem with men using bronzer.


OK, maybe I think it's a tad weird.