don't be negative

This whole weight loss thing isn't working too well.  I think I hit this weight & my body is comfortable.  I've plateaued here before, and pretty much decided I felt comfortable enough *here* to just maintain.  I did a good job of maintaining at this weight, until I moved to Michigan, went off bcps, quit exercising in the winter, got pregnant, got pregnant again, etc.  So here I am, weighing almost exactly what I weighed 5 years ago, and unhappy about it.  But dieting alone isn't working.  Dieting & exercising 2-3 times a week isn't working.  I know it isn't my workouts...I'm burning anywhere from 700-1100 calories per workout (depending on which workout).  That 1100 calories a workout is about what I was supposed to be eating per day on WW.  What's my problem?  Why can't I get past this hump?   I think the only thing I can do reasonably is exercise more.    I hate exercising at night.  I get all wound up and have trouble sleeping.  But I also hate getting up early in the mornings.  So I have to pick.  I'm going to exercise 6 days a week, some days going to the gym in the early evening, other days I'll go for a run after the kids are in bed.  And my Saturday morning favorite...boot camp.  For me to run, I have to have a goal.  I like running, I really do, but I'm competitive and I need something to motivate me.  I've decided I'm going to train for a marathon.    I know, I know...that's a HUGE commitment & it takes a lot of time.  I'm willing.  Yes, the most I've done in the past was a 10k, and I know there's a huge difference in a 10k and a marathon.  20 miles different.  I know.  But I believe in myself & I know I can do it.  The Atlanta Track Club always hands out a "10k to marathon" training program after the Peachtree Road Race.  Surely I can find something like that online.  And I have my training info from the 10k's I've done in the past.  I'm planning to go for a run Thursday to see where I'm at, then I'll set a goal for a 10k.  Because frankly, I don't think I could go out & run a 10k right now.   Maybe a 5k, but not a 10.  Once I set a goal for the 10k, I'll take a look at the calendar and set a goal for a marathon.  I'll do other things in between, but I need to have that final goal set.    Anyway, the point of my post is that tonight I was discussing my plan with my boot camp teacher after my step class.  This guy in the class that I don't even KNOW comes up and is like "have you ever run before?"  "You know that's hard on your body, right?"  "Have you seen marathon runners.  They don't have any extra weight."  I kinda took that last remark as a subtle way of saying "there's no way your fat ass is running a marathon."  Whatever dude.  Didn't your momma teach you if you don't have something nice to say to just keep your fucking mouth shut?!?!  Bite me!   Oh yeah, I've written this post with one contact lens floating around in my eye.  Remind me there's a reason I don't usually shower with them in.  Ouchie.  Ready for David to be home so he can help me fish it out!