At my uncle's funeral a couple of weeks ago, there were a couple of things the minister said that really stuck with me. First, he had a prayer with the family before we entered church for the service. During that prayer, he thanked God for "being there for all of us to lean on during these times" and for "taking control from us for a few days so we could grieve" but then said "but as the weeks go by Lord, we will take that control back." As disrespectful as this sounds, I almost giggled. Isn't part of being a believer always letting God have control? Don't get me wrong, I struggle like crazy with that. I'm a control freak, I admit it. But I know deep down, ultimately I'm not in control. There's really not much, even in my little corner of the universe, that is in my control. But by golly I'll still try to control it all! I just thought it was funny that a preacher was talking about taking control from God.
Another thing, much more serious, that really stuck with me from the funeral, was when the minister talked about my uncle not being afraid of dying. He mentioned that because of my uncle's strong faith, he didn't have any reason to be afraid of dying. He talked about how most people are afraid of dying. It got me thinking, and I don't think I'm afraid of dying because of *me* but because of the people I would leave behind. I hate to think about causing them pain and grief. I can handle the "what about me?" part of me dying, but I don't like to think about "what about" for David, Matthew, Scarlett, my parents, my sisters, etc. if I die.
Maybe Kenny's right - Everybody want to go to heaven
But nobody want to go now
Monday, November 17, 2008
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3 comments:
is it bad that the Kenny quote made me smile at the end of a fairly somber post?
First of all, that's Taryn's ALL TIME favorite song, he knows ALL the words!
Second of all, I learned over time that you DON'T have control over death, duh, right? I have been "waiting" for my dad to die since I was in about 3rd grade. IMO he should have gone by now. I have never been afraid of dying, not sure why, but I know what you mean about leaving those we love behind. That scares me to some extent, but I think we have to believe that our kids and parents and other loved ones, will be ok. Otherwise we'd drive ourself crazy thinking about it. Ok, I rambled, but I love reading your blog, Kaci. Keep em coming!
Not bad at all Beth, I didn't want to leave anyone sad. And what can make a girl happier than Kenny? ;)
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