what to do? what to do?

Y'all are probably tired of hearing me mention running, but oh well, as Matthew would say, I'm going to do it anyway. I used to run just to run the Peachtree 10k. Every spring when it was time to sign up, I'd sign up & start training. I trained, ran July 4, and quit until the next spring. It wasn't something I loved. When I first started running this summer, I figured I'd enter some 10k's, just to keep me running, and I casually said "someday I want to run a marathon." Well this time, I joined a running moms group and these ladies Inspired me. Yeah, Inspired with a capital "I". As I read their messages, I read about their running, their races, their stories, their lives...I was and am truly Inspired.

I decided to try to run a half marathon. Those ladies encouraged me that I could do it. They encouraged me that if I could run 5 miles I could run a half. I tested myself. I signed up for the Detroit Half Marathon. I am so excited to be running this race. Through my training, I know that a marathon is a reasonable goal. I can and WILL do it. But WHEN?

I could train and be ready to run it 18 weeks after my half (solely based on the training program I've been following for the half). That would be late Dec/early Jan, which would mean training over Thanksgiving & Christmas, which I could do but we travel a lot & I'm usually not good about exercising when I'm out of town. I'm sure if I signed up for a race I would be better though. But that would also mean training in the winter months here...and I'm not sure about how I'd do a long run in the cold, possibly snowy, Detroit winter. I can't imagine running 20 miles on the treadmill or even on the track at my gym (that would be ~200 laps...wowzers!). So I'd need to run outside, and I'm not sure I'm that tough.

So maybe I find a spring marathon...there's actually one that starts/finishes less than half a mile from my house. Easy enough, right? But it's a small one, with ~400 finishers last year. That intimidates me. I'd rather run a big one with thousands of other people.

Then, there's the issue of children. David & I want at least one more child. My next birthday I'll be 35. The chances of becoming pregnant, the chances of a healthy pregnancy, the chances of a healthy baby...all that goes down the older I get. I know there's no magic number, but I don't want to wait until I'm much older, especially if we think we might want more than one more. Plus Scarlett will be 3 in June, and I don't want a huge age gap between children. (I hated my almost 7 year old younger sister for oh, almost 15 years.)

So do I put off my newfound love of running to try for another baby? Or do I keep running and finish that marathon before I get rid of my IUD? I want both these things, and I know I can have them both, but I don't know which I should pursue first.

On the one hand, if I've run a marathon before I TTC, I'll be in good shape for a pregnancy. Hopefully I'll be closer to my goal weight when I get pregnant. I should be able to run more/longer into the pregnancy than if I'm not in as good of shape. On the other hand, if I haven't run a marathon maybe it would inspire me after the baby was born, to lace up my shoes.

I really don't know what to do, how to proceed, what's best...for me, my current family, and our hopeful additional member. I know no one can tell me what to do (although if you have advice/thoughts, I'd certainly appreciate your input). I know that it's a personal decision for David & me to make together, but I wish the answer could just fall into my lap. I hate making decisions!