Frustrated

We found out yesterday that my mother in law has booked a flight for early July to come visit. ARGH! She was kind of invited, but not for specific dates - and when she asked about July 4, I said we might not even have a baby by then. After all, Matthew was born a week after his due date and I was induced. July 5 will be one week after my due date, and I really don't want to be induced this time. I am so pissed. I really would have expected her to clear the date with us before she bought the ticket but no, she can't even be that considerate.

A little history - she was here when I was induced with Matthew and really annoyed me. It wasn't just that she was annoying, she was a bitch. I have tried really hard to get past that but it still hurts that David & I were left feeling the way we felt after she left. We had enough to deal with being new parents, we didn't need to be dealing with her issues as well. We discussed it then and said we did not want her here when our next child was born. And low and behold, what does she do but book a ticket to possibly be here.

One problem is that we don't know exactly when the baby will be born, but still....all I wanted was for her to come later in the month. The doctor won't let me go past 42 weeks anyway, so mid to late July would have been perfect. Now I feel this pressure that to avoid the MIL drama we had when Matthew was born, I need to be induced. And I really don't want to do that! I feel like it is better for the baby to let her come when she is ready, I want to try an all natural labor (and introducing drugs to start an induction is not natural, plus the pain is supposedly worse when induced so it is more likely I would want pain relief), and I want the experience, ya know? I know we could tell MIL to change her flight, but that would really piss her off and she becomes a real pain to deal with when she's pissed. Not that any of this should be about her, but somehow she finds a way to make it about her. I am tired of her not having more respect for David, I don't care how she treats me, but David is her son! I also hate feeling like he's in the middle of this - I know he was hurt and angered by the way she acted before, so I know he agrees he does not want her here this time, but it is still difficult on him. More so than on me...

Another thing is that my parents will most likely be here then too. I was hoping she would not come until after they went home. Yeah, I feel a little bad that I WANT my parents here and not her, but when Matthew was born, MY parents were a HUGE help....they grocery shopped, they cooked, they cleaned, they did laundry, they encouraged me to sleep whenever I could...you get the picture. SHE on the other hand got pissed because I held Matthew instead of letting her hold him, I let my younger sister change a diaper (when my sister jumped up & said "I'll change him") and she never changed one....HELLO! All she had to do was say she wanted to! It is like she just didn't "get" that I needed to bond with Matthew and I needed her support. Not to mention we had some struggles breastfeeding and she offered no encouragement. I get upset thinking about it all, and this is just bringing it all up again.

I feel guilty though, that I want my parents here and don't want David's mom here. Why should I feel guilty about that, when she acted the way she did? Am I wrong to want an apology, or some acknowledgement from her that she didn't play nice? I know I'm living in a fantasy land - she's not the type to admit she was wrong.

Anyway, on another note, I had a check up yesterday. I had gained 1-1/2 lbs since my last appointment, 11-1/2 total (I think?). She didn't "check" me since I told her I haven't had any contractions and didn't think anything was going on. She said she would definitely check me next week, since she doesn't want me walking around at 5cm and not knowing it. We talked a little about inducing...she knew that I wanted to be induced with Matthew (but only because he was due so close to Christmas) and she said that most people with a toddler at home think it is easier to schedule an induction than to be surprised. I explained that I would rather avoid it this time, but we talked about a few dates anyway - she mentioned June 27 as a good date, so we'll keep that in mind. I guess with all the MIL crap at least if I decide to be induced so that we are all home & settled before her visit, it is good I know my doctor is willing.