not 100%

Matthew has been sick this week. Monday night he started running a fever and had a little cough and runny nose too. I called the pediatrician Tuesday morning but they said just treat the symptoms & give it some time, call back if it got worse or lasted much longer. I don't mean to whine (well ok maybe I do) but it is really hard taking care of a sick toddler and an infant. Thankfully Scarlett is a good baby - I can feed her, diaper her, and put her down - she is easily entertained and sleeps great. But still, when Matthew doesn't feel well is precisely when he wants to be held & cuddled - it is such a struggle to give him the cuddling he needs and tend to Scarlett at the same time, especially when she needs to eat. I have relied on the tv more than I would like to admit this week, but at least I can have Matthew in my lap while Scarlett eats this way. It breaks my heart that I can't give Matthew 100% of my attention when he is sick. It also breaks my heart that Scarlett spends a lot more time in the swing or in the pack and play looking at the mobile than Matthew did. This is true whether he is sick or not - frankly it is impossible for me to have as much one on one time with her as I had with him.

Matthew has such a sweet disposition and weeks like this I worry that having a baby sister so soon is going to affect that. I hope he continues to be the sweet, loving boy that he is now. I hope that she becomes a sweet, loving girl too, even though she doesn't get the attention that he got at her age.