hubby brag

Sometimes I have to do it. I complain about him when he drives me bonkers, so it's only fair that when he does something wonderful I document that too, right? I mentioned that my mom is coming to visit. She arrives this afternoon. I am not a good housekeeper. Of all the things I learned from her, somehow I did not pick up her ability to keep a clean house while raising children & tending to a husband. So every time she comes to visit, I'm scurrying around like crazy for a few days beforehand trying to make the house presentable. Around midnight last night I finally told David to let's just go to bed, that I would deal with the rest this morning. He wondered how I would finish it all, and I told him I would just get the big stuff and not worry about the details. Well he got up this morning before 6, and I knew he was headed to the gym. I was wrong! He got up and swept the living room & dining room, mopped the kitchen, and cleaned up a large part of the breakfast area!!!! Isn't he a great husband? :)

thoughts on parenting

My mom is coming to visit. She arrives tomorrow and will be here almost 2 weeks. I'm really excited about her visit. It's so nice to have family coming and not dread it. When my mother-in-law is visiting I approach those visits with so much dread. There have been a lot of things happen in the past that I struggle to move past, and it seems that every time I think I've gotten over it all, she does something else to make me dislike her again. Maybe the problem is me...

Anyway, my mom and I were talking last night and I mentioned some of the latest goings on with my MIL. I explained that what bothers me the most is the hurt it causes David, and the potential that when Matthew & Scarlett are old enough to understand, she will hurt them too. I told my mom I would not tolerate this kind of behavior when my children are old enough to understand. I will tell MIL a head full if that ever happens. She knows I will stand up to her because I have in the past. It is just amazing to me that David could be the person he is with her as a mom.

My mom commented during the discussion that she hopes she & my dad never cause the kind of drama that my MIL causes. I assured her that they have not ever nor do I think they ever would. Both of them seem to respect David & me as adults, and not treat us like children. My MIL got very angry when Matthew was born that *she* was not present for his orthopedic consult for clubfoot. She actually commented that she couldn't believe we scheduled it for after she was leaving. I know that she was concerned about his feet, we all were, but for her to act like she was the only one capable of meeting with the doctor really got to me. I know that it aggravated my mom too because we've talked about it. Last night my mom said that they never want to undermine us as parents and that they respect our decisions and are confident in us as parents. It suddenly hit me that they are confident in me as a parent because they were good parents. I said so to my mom...I told her that she can have confidence in me because she knows that I had a good example of parents when I was growing up. She then went into how they weren't perfect parents, but they did the best they could. I told her that I couldn't have had a more perfect set of parents...that yeah, I would agree they weren't perfect, but I don't think there is any such thing. We all mess up. But we also try to build on what we learn from our parents, the things they do "right" and the things they do "wrong" - without having a good example, I don't think I would be a good mom. And I'm not saying I am a good mom, I'm just saying that my mom thinks I am, and that is pretty darn important to me. And I don't think she could have that confidence in me without some confidence in herself.

Basically, I realized last night that maybe my MIL wants to be a control freak when it comes to our children because she knows she wasn't the best parent she could have been for her own children. Maybe it is a lack of self confidence that has her being such a witch to us. Maybe it's some form of jealousy that she sees we are capable of being good parents. I am being hard on her, but I also think she must have been a good mom. Again, not perfect, but David turned out pretty darn good...and she deserves some credit for that. So she needs to step up and realize that she raised a great son, and she needs to have faith in him that he will be a great parent. Is that too much to ask?

Matthew tidbits

Just a lot of random Matthew bits that I don't want to forget.

* Some days he calls for me to come get him when he wakes up from his nap and when I get up there he is hiding. It's a fun little game of his.

* Like most little boys, he plays with his winkie sometimes. One day about a month ago, he was playing with it while I changed his diaper and when I was ready to close up the diaper I told him to stop so I could get his diaper fastened. He said "I lub my winkie." I almost fell off the couch I was laughing so hard.

* He has been going through a phase where he repeats things. The other day he was acting up & I said "Matthew, you're being ugly." He quickly said "No, you're ugly mommy" - so I guess it's confirmed. I'm ugly.

* One morning I forgot to put the diaper cover over his diaper. When I realized I said something about being a bad mommy cause I forgot his cover. A little later, kind of out of the blue, Matthew looked at me & said "I lub my bad mommy."

* The other day Scarlett was fussing and Matthew told me "Scarlett hungy". He walked over to the boppy and brought it to me. Then he told me "Scarlett want eat booby."

* A couple of weekends ago we went to a bronco show/swap meet. We left home before our normal breakfast time, so we just ate in the car. Except Scarlett...I just fed her when we got there. David & Matthew started looking around while she ate her cereal & fruit. David said that Matthew picked a flower and carried it around for a few minutes, then gave it to a little girl. David said she looked to be 8-9 years old. Maybe he'll like the older girls?

* I love the way Matthew makes Scarlett laugh. It can be anything he does - she adores him and will laugh & smile at him for almost everything. When he realizes she is laughing at him, he tries to make her laugh even more. I love that he loves her.

* Instead of having 2 babies in diapers, I have 2 babies and a bear. I frequently have to change diapers on Matthew's bear when I change his or Scarlett's diaper. Sometimes I can get away with just putting on a cover, but usually I have to do the whole shebang.

* Last night we took the paci from him. David thinks it's starting to visibly affect his teeth. He is going through a phase where he will whine at bedtime that he doesn't want something..."I don't want my _______" - usually it's his blanket, sometimes his puff (a stuffed animal), other times it's the paci. We leave it on the bed beside him because in less than 5 minutes he is saying he wants it. Last night he said he didn't want the paci so David brought it downstairs. Sure enough, a couple of minutes passed and he started asking for it. David snipped the end off and took it back to him. A few minutes later Matthew screamed out "I don't want my paci. It's broke. Dada come get it." David went and got it & we didn't hear anything else about it. We'll see how naptime goes today! I'm prepared to give him the one with the cut off tip if he wants it, but that's all he'll get.

* I love the conversations we can have now. He knows Scarlett is not allowed to have his sippy cup. In the mornings I give him a cup of milk first thing, then we eat breakfast around 8:30. One morning when we went to the table I asked Matthew where his cup was. He told me Scarlett was drinking it and he took it away. Then he said "put it so she can't reach it." I asked where he put it and he told me it was by the diaper cream. Sure enough, it was on the shelf by the Desitin.

Things that go THUD

What goes THUD? Scarlett does! I came in from the gym the other night and David told me we have to buy a new baby gate. He put Scarlett down in the family room and went to get Matthew. He was only a few steps away from her when he heard it...THUD. She climbed up & over it. She had been trying to climb it for several days (ok, about 2 weeks) so we should have known it was coming and already have a new gate, but usually she takes a little longer to climb it than she did that night. David said she wasn't too upset over the whole ordeal, and didn't seem hurt at all. I wish she could understand the cause & effect so that she would stop trying to climb the gate!

Then yesterday I walked in the family room only to find her sitting on the back of the couch. I've noticed her several times moving things around on the floor to give her "steps" to climb onto the couch, but didn't think she could get on the back of it. I thought Matthew was a climber but Scarlett is proving that he has nothing on her in that area!

patty cake

Scarlett says "pat pat pat" and will grab me by the wrist and clap my hands together. She loves to play patty cake, and shows me frequently that it's time for us to play. She seems to prefer clapping my hands together over clapping her own hands though.

Just overweight & a trip down memory lane

A quick update on the weight loss - I'm now "just" overweight instead of obese. With today's weigh in, my BMI dropped into the overweight range. I'm still at the very top of it, but small steps, right?

I think that deserves a little celebration so maybe I'll dig up my running shoes. I haven't used them since July 4, 2005. Almost 3 years. I can remember well that day because it was my last time running the Peachtree Road Race. I remember it well because David & I signed up before we found out we were having Matthew. I am not sure if I would have signed up if I had known I was pregnant, but we just made a good time out of it. We knew we would be slower than normal that year, so we decided to take it easy and really enjoy ourselves. We arrived early so we could watch the wheelchair racers speed by. Then we watched the beginning groups of runners. Those guys (and gals) are fast!!

One of my favorite spots of the race is when you pass the Sheperd Center. It is just past the half-way point of the course, and on probably the hardest section. You see, the course is mostly downhill, but this is a nice long hill that has been fondly nicknamed Cardiac Hill. So here I am, my first year doing the race, I let everyone else's momentum at the start get me carried away, instead of controlling my pace like I did when I trained, I let them dictate my pace. So I wasn't ready for the hill. As I neared the Sheperd Center, I was really tired. I wasn't sure I could go on. But then, I heard the cheers of the patients there. It was overwhelming how supportive they were of all of us who were able to be out there running that day. A lot of the patients are up early to cheer on the wheelchair racers, but they stay out there for us runners too. When I think about how bitter they could be, but then they choose to get out there & cheer for us, I can't help but be overcome with emotion.

A couple of years that we ran the race we lived in a condo just a block from the finish line. It was fun to get finished, go home & shower, then go back to hang out & enjoy the rest of the race. You see, it takes over 2 hours for everyone to START the race, so if you're in one of the first time groups, you can be finished before others even start.

Another favorite memory is from 2002. The race rules state that no costume or headgear is allowed, but there were several firefighters and military personnel who ran the race in full gear. Pretty amazing - I probably couldn't run one mile in all that garb, much less 6.2!

I would love to run the Peachtree again - it was kind of a tradition that we planned to continue even after we moved here, but as you can see we haven't. That year I was pregnant was the last time we followed through with our plan. Logistically it's just hard...David has to take vacation the week of July 4, so we end up visiting family or going somewhere for a "real" vacation, and getting to Atlanta for the race just isn't easily set into those plans. Hopefully we can pick the tradition up again someday. I do miss it.

Livid - strictly a vent

I am angrier than I've ever been about my children. Specifically, about Matthew. About 2 months ago, he got new shoes to maintain his clubfoot correction. About a month after that, one of the straps on the right shoe snapped as we were putting them on at bedtime. I went to "my" clubfoot message board and found that it was a problem several people had, and they called the manufacturer to report it. The manufacturer has a great reputation for customer service, so the next morning I gave them a call. Turns out our orthotics company does not give them all the patient information, so they were unable to help me but did say that if the orthotist called they would overnight me a new shoe. I called the orthotist, who wanted me to bring the shoe in so they could SEND IT OUT to their repair facility. We had to do this with another pair of shoes once...it took us about 5 days to get the shoe back. I was adamant that if the manufacturer was willing to overnight a shoe directly to ME, it made no sense for me to drive downtown and then wait a few days to drive downtown again to pick the shoe up. So they called and ordered a replacement. It was made of a much thicker leather, and reinforced, so we were happy. We've been keeping an eye on the other shoe, the left one, because it was the same leather that snapped on the right shoe.

Well, Wednesday night I was home alone with the kiddos, and the strap broke. This time it didn't snap in two, but half of the leather between the edge of the strap and the hole that we use broke. We had a dangling strap. I found some tape and taped it together, then poked a hole in the tape to get the shoe on for the night. Yesterday I called the orthotist to have them order a new shoe. I specified that it was the left shoe that was broken, and before hanging up she asked "it's the left shoe?" and I confirmed. I expected to receive a replacement today.

This morning someone else from the orthotics company called me to ask me which shoe was broken!!! They did not order the shoe yesterday! I don't think I've ever spoken so harshly to someone as I spoke to him this morning. This is absolutely unacceptable in my eyes. The treatment that we've gone through is fully dependent on us complying with the bracewear. We can't do that with broken shoes and orthotists who don't order replacements. This is Matthew's foot we're talking about...if he loses correction it most likely means surgery! It pisses me off even more because of course, today is Friday so the earliest we'll get a shoe is Monday. Yeah, I'm PISSED! Actually, pissed is an understatement.

I think to people who haven't been through this it might seem like I'm overreacting. But the fact is that doctors drill it in to their patients (well the parents) that bracewear is responsible for 90% of the success. If the children don't wear the brace, relapse is *highly* likely, and they say that being out of the brace for even one night can cause a problem. Since Matthew doesn't complain about having to wear it, I want him to keep it on as long as possible. If he sleeps without it for even one night, he might start fighting us about it. While we would still make him wear it, I don't want to have to battle him over it.

I took Matthew & Scarlett out after breakfast to get the shoe fixed. I didn't drive downtown to the orthotics company, I just went to a local shoe shop and they sewed a piece of nylon on it that will hold until next week. But still, I'm angry. Really angry. I'll also document that this orthotics company got paid almost $1000 from my insurance company for these shoes. I could have ordered them direct from the manufacturer for ~$350. That's a pretty decent markup, huh? You'd think at that markup they would give good service, right? Ha!

Going to try to calm down now...