can it get any sweeter?

We had a really good weekend. I'm trying to force myself to be happy because I've read that there are studies out there showing that if you act happy you usually become happier. So I'll test it. Whatever. I'm trying people!

Saturday was a pretty lazy day because the weather was supposed to be crappy and we didn't want to get out. Sunday we went to the fire station to get a pumpkin. They do a pumpkin patch as a charity fundraiser and we thought Matthew would enjoy seeing the firetrucks and firefighters up close. Plus, all their pumpkins were $5 so you can't beat that. They had other things too - facepainting, some games, cider, donuts, and hot dogs. It made for a nice outing. Matthew loved climbing in & driving the firetruck.

Afterwards we went to Meijer, where it still only costs a penny to ride the horse. You know, the mechanical horses that you put money in. As soon as we pulled up Matthew asked to ride. We went in and shopped, then got ready to head to the check out. David mentioned that he didn't see the horse. Matthew was still asking to ride (we usually take him while we are checking out - this makes sure he'll behave for shopping). We asked the cashier and she said they got rid of the horse because it was a hazard. Oh geeze - it's not the horse that's the problem - it's the parents not watching their children, but don't get me started on that. We had something to do at customer service so David kind of complained about them getting rid of the horse. The manager was there and told us the horse just needed some work & would be back. Meanwhile, Matthew is still asking for the horse. One of the customer service girls told him that the horsey had to go to the doctor but would be back soon. He got so upset at that point his eyes welled up with tears and he had such a frown. It almost made ME cry looking at him.

Matthew is also such a sweet boy. He always wants to help, even when I change Scarlett's diaper. Since I like to be at her feet when I've used a snappi, I ask him to hold her head in his lap. Today as I changed her he kept loving on her, and he would say "Scarlett's the sweetest sister." and "She's the cutest baby in the whole wide world." While I am sure he's right, I don't say that, at least not phrased like that. I don't know where he gets these things, but I'm so glad they love each other.

Christmas plans

I can't believe there are only 2 months until Christmas! Where has this year gone? Since we've been married, David & I have alternated holidays with our families, going to his for Thanksgiving/mine for Christmas, or vice versa. We usually manage to see both sides of the family at Christmas, but for christmas day we alternate. We said when we had children we would add a year at home to that, since it will be nice to stay home some years. Technically this would be our stay home year, but we felt like Matthew still isn't quite old enough that he'll care, and Scarlett definitely won't. So we weren't sure what we would do. On our old rotation, we would spend Christmas Day with his family, so earlier this week he asked his mom what her plans were. She hemmed & hawed and didn't know, so he said "we could have everyone here" - and she thought it was a great idea! Putting it into motion, my BIL & SIL would rather be home on Christmas Eve & Day, but I understand that - they have a 5 year old and almost all of their family lives in the area and will be together those days. So we are having Christmas here the weekend before Christmas. David's whole family (well his mother's side) is coming HERE!

I am really excited - I love hosting big Christmas stuff! I am not sure where everyone will sleep, but that's not too important...we'll find a spot for everyone! We may need some more air mattresses, but we'll manage.

Now I have to get & keep my house clean!!! That pile of laundry on my table that keeps growing has to disappear. I've got to go through the closets & put the clothes that fit in MY room so I don't have to digging through the extra bedroom while we have guests. I need to work on my funk so I can get it all done without making myself insane because I really am glad they'll be here. I just can't let it stress me out as it gets closer. I'll let it stress me out now instead :)

I'm normal

Well, according to my BMI anyway. I think we'd all agree that I'm probably not so normal in lots of ways. This morning I hopped on the scale, like I always do on Thursdays, and was surprised to see I've lost weight this week. I'm still not tracking/journaling like I should be, but hopefully seeing the numbers go down will help me get motivated again. I am still frustrated with myself - I've been hovering between 140.5 & 142 the last 6 weeks. But today, I dropped below 140, and I'm determined NOT to go back there.

According to my BMI, I'm a normal weight. I still think I'm overweight, but according to that math, I'm not. To think, I've only got about 15 lbs to go to be truly happy with my weight!

can't do cloth?

This is for anyone who says I just can't do cloth diapers. You know those people - the thought of dealing with cloth diapers totally grosses them out. They think getting the poop off the diaper would be awful, the worst thing ever. Well, Matthew & Scarlett were both up most of the night puking. Cleaning up poopy cloth diapers pales in comparison to cleaning up toddler puke off the sheets, the pillow, the stuffed animals he insists on sleeping with every night, the wall, the...you get the idea. So yeah, if you hear someone say they can't do cloth because it's disgusting, well you might just tell them to not have children.

I know they can't help it, and can't stress how much it hurt me to watch them be this sick. Neither of them had any idea what was happening, they both just wanted to sleep, but we wanted to keep an eye on them for a while. Scarlett was especially bad because she would fight us as we tried to help her. I think she was scared. Matthew didn't understand what was going on but he did finally understand that he should ask for the bucket to get sick in. So my poor babies were up most of the night sick, and all I wanted was to be sick in their place. Today they seem fine - we think it's something they ate. I hope so, I hope it's all done. I felt so so sorry for both of them.

I had something else I wanted to say but I can't remember what it was. Bah.

oh the funk

I've been feeling a definite funk lately. I posted about the whole roller coaster feeling, and then we had a great weekend, but even with a wonderful weekend, it seemed like I was right back into the funk once we were back home. I have been so excited about my weight loss, and it's been easy, but now I'm just kinda like eh, whatever. I could count on one hand the times I've been to the gym in the last month, and I have completely stopped tracking what I eat. Mentally part of it is still tracked, but I'm not doing it like I should. Somehow in this time I've gained 0.5 pounds - I'm surprised it isn't more. I've said the last 2 Mondays "ok, diet is back on" but then Monday rolls around & I just can't make myself eat better. Is this normal for dieting? I want to lose the other 15 lbs and KEEP THEM OFF, so I need help. I don't know what to do to get back in the groove.

And the kids - they are wonderful. They are true blessings but I don't appreciate them as much as I should. Lately I feel like I'm just looking forward to nap and bed times so I can rest. I *do* enjoy the time I have with them, but I'm not taking them to the park, or the library, or the pool, or anything fun out of the house. We're just retreating in our little shell during the week. We play, I read them stories, I take care of them, we give hugs & kisses, but most days it's like my heart isn't in it. And they deserve better than that. Maybe they deserve better than me.

I've got 2 loads of laundry that need washing, another 3 that need folding, and another 1 that needs to be put away. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded, and I have a few things in the sink that need to be washed. The dining room floor needs sweeping, the kitchen needs mopping, the bathrooms need cleaning. I feel like I get it all done & then it just needs to be redone. I can't keep up with it, and I can't understand why it's so hard. It shouldn't be hard, right? I have plenty of time to sit on my ass & watch tv, so why can't I find time to keep the house comfortable?

I'm just hoping to come out of this funk before long - my children and husband deserve better than they are getting.

a lovely weekend

Last weekend we planned to visit an apple orchard, take in some of Michigan's lovely fall color, and maybe camp. I was pretty hesitant about the idea of camping because I just didn't think Matthew and Scarlett would cooperate. But I finally decided, what the heck? If things really went bad, we could always go find a hotel somewhere. Ha! I'm forgetting who I married!

Saturday morning we ate breakfast, then got everything (seems like we sure took a lot to be gone just one night!) packed and loaded, and off we went. We got to the apple orchard around lunchtime. We bought some sandwiches for lunch, then when we finished those we bought fresh kettle corn, some donuts, and apple cider. YUMMMY! I love all those things. And um no, none of them are very diet friendly. But um, it's only fall once a year. ;) Once we finished our lunch we went off to play at the orchard. Matthew enjoyed climbing on and "driving" one of their antique tractors. We took a hayride to the orchard and picked a peck of apples. We got a few different varieties, some for baking and some for eating. Matthew and Scarlett enjoyed picking the apples, but it was hard to keep Scarlett from biting every one that she could get her hands on!

We visited the petting farm and Matthew rode a pony. We tried to take their pictures in front of the apple growth chart they have, so you can compare size from one year to the next. It so happens my kids just won't stand still for that sort of thing! After that, it was more tractors. That was definitely Matthew's favorite part.

Once we were tired of playing at the orchard, we headed off for a drive. We found a campground in the national forest and picked a site. David & I used to camp and we would usually just find an out of the way spot, not in a campground, but it was getting dark so we decided to take the easy way out. David got the fire going (really quick - I was impressed) and lit the lantern so we could see to set up camp. He did most of the camp work while I kept the kids out of the fire. We started cooking hot dogs so we could eat. It's all about the food. Matthew seemed to really enjoy cooking over the fire and while he usually won't eat hot dogs, he wolfed that one down & asked for another! After hot dogs were eaten we roasted some marshmallows. Matthew really liked those, and while Scarlett wasn't too sure at first, she quickly learned that they were gooey and messy so she enjoyed them too. We got the kids ready for bed and laid down in the tent with them. They went to sleep and we got up and sat around the campfire, even enjoyed a couple of s'mores. Haven't had those in ages.

Sunday we spent the day driving around looking at leaves, with me making a lot of stops to practice the things I've learned in photography class. It was a lovely weekend and I couldn't decide what pictures to share. Here are a couple, and if you want to see more check out my other pictures:

Friday ramblings

What a week! I'm glad it's Friday. It's been a hard week, but hopefully that means next week will be a good one.

Let's see, I'll start with today. We had Scarlett's 15 month check up this morning. We had to wait a long time, both in the waiting room & the exam room. Matthew & Scarlett were very good though, playing quietly with other kids in the waiting room, and then they went a little wild in the exam room, but the door was closed so they weren't bothering anyone. They danced around on the table, tearing all the paper and throwing it around the room. They had fun! Oh, and the check up - we saw a different doctor today and she was very nice. She adored Scarlett and seemed amazed by everything Scarlett did. She told us Scarlett is very advanced for her age and at one point said "I just love her." Scarlett weighed in at 21 lb 12 oz and was 31" long, which is right on the curve she's been on on the charts. She had 3 shots, 2 normal vaccines + a flu shot. Matthew also got a flu shot and was such a big boy. He didn't cry at all and barely flinched. He loved the zebra 'sticker' they put on his leg and asked for more. Scarlett did cry but as soon as the shots were over she went right back to playing & dancing.

Oh, then, then, we went to lunch at a little deli. And I, yes I, drove the Bronco! I forgot to mention that David has driven the Bronco to work & back (and on whatever errands he's run) every day this week (except Monday). It hasn't stalled or refused to start up a single time. Ok, now that I've said that, it probably won't start when he tries to come home today. I hope I didn't jinx him. But yeah, I drove it from the doc's office to the deli. Not very far, but it's a 3 speed, with the shifter on the steering column instead of the floor. And it's got NO power ANYTHING. So totally different than anything I've ever driven. Even my sister's old VW bug has the shifter in the floor. But yeah, I drove it. And boy did I get stares. I think when you live in the Motor City & drive something like that, you can't help but get them, but it was kinda interesting. I was a nervous wreck driving it because I didn't want it to break down on me! Even thought it wouldn't be my fault. I'm amazed it's run all week! (Side note: while this was going to be an ongoing project, David hasn't spent a lot of time on it. He has started spending at least a couple of hours each week tinkering on it though, so hopefully we'll see good results.)

As hard as this week has been, we've had several good moments. Wednesday night as I put Matthew to bed, he said "Thank you for cooking me a good supper tonight, mommy." Totally out of the blue. How sweet was that?

I sing "skinamarink" to Scarlett a lot, and now when I start singing it to her, she will sing "I uuuhhh OOOOO" and point at me. (That's "I love you" for those of you who can't sound out my 'scarlett spelling' and maybe don't know the song.) I know she's just responding to the song, but it's still sweet.

Scarlett is still showing a lot of interest in pottying, so I'm letting her sit on it as often as she wants to, and for as long as she wants to. She doesn't actually use it very much, but maybe she's making the connection.

And Matthew, I don't think he means to be funny sometimes, but he is. David was getting him ready for bed & Matthew was talking & suddenly burped mid-sentence. I didn't notice the burp, it was a quiet one. But David said "what do you say?" and Matthew burped a HUGE burp. I couldn't help but laugh - it was a response you'd expect from a teenager. I KNOW it wasn't on purpose, but it was still funny. So, David's trying to teach him manners and I am just laughing. Matthew did say excuse me once I turned my head away though! Maybe the manners will win out!

Have a great weekend :) We're hoping to go to an apple orchard and do some leaf viewing. Might try camping with the kiddos. Not sure on that yet - I'm not sure I want to worry about keeping them warm in a tent!

what a roller coaster

I've always loved roller coasters, when I was in college David & I used to travel the country to ride them. We'd take a long weekend and drive all day/night Friday to get somewhere, go to a park Saturday, drive Saturday night to another city, spend Sunday at a park, and drive all night Sunday night to get back to school/work on Monday. It was fun, and I'm sure there were worse things we could have been doing. What a thrilling ride. Ups & downs, highs & lows, such a rush.

So I figure parenting is a lot like riding a roller coaster, right? You have definite high points, with some low points thrown in for good measure, and a lot of little bumps along the way. This week has been one heck of a ride. Monday night was SO nice, the kiddos ate a good supper without being bribed prodded, then they played in the family room with David while I had clean-up duty. They were quiet, took turns, and all around great. I came in and played for a while before we got them ready for bed. I said to David "I sure wish it was like this all the time."

Then yesterday, oh my gosh, yesterday...neither of them would go down for a nap, after almost 2 hours Scarlett finally went to sleep. Matthew never fell asleep, but he did finally play quietly in his room. I probably made 20 trips up the stairs in that time, trying to get one or the other of them to lay down. I was so frustrated. I hate myself when I get frustrated with them. By the time David got home last night I was exhausted and didn't want to deal with them at all. Suppertime came and Scarlett dumped her plate on the floor. Matthew didn't do much better. After I finished eating I told David I was going to veg for a while, and let him take care of feeding them and bathing them. I just needed a break, and didn't want to wait until they were in bed to have it.

Unfortunately that break didn't help my mood. I was a grouch all night, and being really hard on myself about the kind of mother I am. David assures me I'm a good mom, and most of the time I believe it, but yesterday was not a good day. I was not a good mom. I've got to work on patience. Today has been, oh, better, but naptime for Scarlett was another battle.

Surely the good parts of the coaster will come back soon.

Sick blech

I overslept Saturday and woke up with a bloody awful headache. I slept late enough that I missed bootcamp, which makes me really sad, but I didn't feel up to it anyway. I ended up nursing Scarlett and going right back to bed - David was a sweetheart and took care of the short people all day. I did get out of bed around lunch time, only to eat and fall asleep on the couch. Yeah, I was useless. And I couldn't find my ibuprofen or my tylenol! We've recently moved all the medicine and somehow those got misplaced while we moved them I guess. By Saturday night I decided it wasn't "just a headache" since I was starting to have other crappy symptoms, so I took some cold/sinus medicine and slept great. Yesterday I got up with the short ones so David could rest and I managed to function most of the day. I'm feeling better today so hopefully the worst is past. I hate miserable weekends!

Knitting

My newest hobby is knitting. So far I've knit a few wool soakers (diaper covers), a pair of longies (long pants that will work as a diaper cover), a pair of 'panties' for one of Scarlett's dolls (am I the only one that can't stand a naked doll butt under a dress?), and a matching pair for Scarlett...since she has a matching dress (eyeroll - while I like for Matthew & Scarlett to match sometimes, I'm not so into her matching her doll). Oh yeah, I also made a scarf with some leftover yarn, and while I think the pattern is really cute I made it way too short. I didn't check my gauge and I should have. Then I could have calculated and added some extra pattern repeats to make it long enough. Oh well, it was good practice and I learned some new stitches. I can't complain...maybe someday Matthew or Scarlett will wear it!

I've also knit 4 pumpkin hats in the last week. They turned out pretty cute, and I think I might knit one for myself to wear when we take the short people trick or treating. Just for kicks. I told David I'd whip him one up too, but he said he wouldn't wear it. Stick in the mud! I haven't taken pics of the wool stuff, but I used a picture of one of the hats for part of my photography class homework, so I can share it easily.

TADA! I wish I had taken the picture with something besides a tree in the background, so you could see the stem a little better - I think that's what makes the hat. Oh well, that's why I'm taking the class!

more about the FIL

Nancy asked why FIL is partial to Scarlett. The short answer is I have no clue. I could give a dozen or so reasons of how he has shown he's partial, but I still can't figure out why. My main thought is that maybe he's just one of those people who prefers girls. That sounds kind of creepy, but you know a lot of people have a preference as to gender when they are having a baby. It's totally normal for women to "care" what gender their baby is, and pretty normal for men to want a son. But now that I say I think he prefers girls it does seem creepy. He's totally not creepy though. If he was I wouldn't let him around her!

FIL has 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls. I've never noticed that he treats them with any preference, but he was only around for 100% of the time with the youngest daughter. He & David's mom were together until David was around 10, but I don't think he was a real hands-on dad during that time. I don't think he was the "go outside & play ball" type of dad, but I don't know why. Maybe I'll ask David. I can't remember him ever talking about memories of his dad from when he was young, other than shooting pool and playing video games. His dad owned a game room type place, so I think they spent a lot of time there. Maybe not so much outside, doing more typical father/son activities. But FIL lived with his youngest (girl) from pretty soon after she was born until she graduated from high school and went away to college. So I'm guessing he's just more comfortable with girls? I really don't know.

And Nancy, great game last night. I actually kinda like Boston, since during my Georgia Tech days I watched many games with Garciaparra and Varitek. The Braves will always be my #1 MLB team though.

diapers!!!

I totally forgot to mention that my diapers came Saturday! I opened up the box hoping to see lots of beautiful squishy diapers and was actually disappointed in the fabrics. You see, I ordered a "bundle" of prints, which meant that I had no say in what prints I received. I looked through the past prints available and almost all of them were really cute and then in early September she posted a picture of *some* of the prints that were shipping. There were a few in it that I knew if I received I would have a hard time selling, yes, they were that cute. But of course, murphy took effect and I received none of those ultra cute prints. Mine were pretty boring. I got these:
Fairy Dress Up
Cabbage Rose
Poetry
Best Friend
Sassenach
Queen Anne

I will take pictures & share when I'm not feeling lazy, so if you're curious but don't want to click the links, you can see them later. But really, I don't LOVE any of these. I would have much rather gotten these:
Paislig
Skull Candy
Concentric
Swirly Twirly

I think it's good I didn't get Skull Candy. I've seen it auction for ~$200 and I would have wanted to keep it, but there's no way I could keep a diaper that's "worth" $200. What would you do with a $200 diaper? Would you put it on your baby to pee & poop in? I've seen people use the "Victoria's Secret" argument...they buy "nice" panties for themselves so their babies should have "the best" too. But people, I don't pee and poop in my panties!

So, back to my original plan...I'm going to try to sell 5 of these diapers & keep one. While I wasn't crazy about any of the prints, the diapers are soft and squishy and feel much better than any others I've bought. I still simply have to try them out of curiousity! Give me opinions - which one would you keep?